Sudden Doubts
by Running to Stand Still
Summary: Max has some new problems. How she deals with them as told through a series of songfics... There's FAXNESS! Please Read and Review... COMPLETE
1. Stuck in a Moment

(A/N: This is my first fanfiction story I'e posted... I don't really think I'm good at writing, but people are threatening me about posting stuff on here... So here this is my first shot... If people like it, I may consider putting more up... Review please!)

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride; I simply used some of the characters... No profit is being made off of this... The song I used is "Stuck in a Moment" by U2, my favorite band ever. I wish I owned them or at least this awesome song, but I don't.**

(A/N: I was reading Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment in the car for the zillionth time this summer, and I had this song playing ong my walkman... Oh my God, I was multi-tasking! Wahoo for me! claps hands excitedly... And I had this idea and I just was like... Whoa, this definitely is an awesome idea... Maybe you don't think so... Review so I know if my idea was awesome or not...)

Sudden Doubts

Songfics by Lost Among the Stars

Max blew the hair out of her face. She was flying at her turbo-speed through the storm. Thunder sounded around her and she saw the flashes from the lightning. Far ahead she could see sunlight: her destination. _How did you get caught in the damn storm!_ She asked herself, angry. _Can you be any stupider!_ She wiped the tears away from her eyes. They weren't from the storm or because of fear, she was never afraid…

**I'm not afraid  
Of anything in this world  
There's nothing you can throw at me  
That I haven't already heard  
I'm just trying to find  
A decent melody  
A song that I can sing  
In my own company  
**

She had just realized how impractical this whole "Save the World Max" thing seemed, how impossible it was. She had flown off so quickly, the Flock had no clue why she left them. Luckily none of them followed her. They probably thought she'd return soon…

They would never think she ran away without a goodbye or anything. She cursed herself for even _thinking_ that she'd be able to save the whole damn world! _It's a big place, how are you supposed to do something like that?_ She asked herself.

**I never thought you were a fool  
But darling, look at you Ooh  
you gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight  
'Cause tears are going nowhere baby  
**

_Pull yourself together Maximum,_ she told herself crossly. _You can do this, you just have to try harder and believe you can._ She stopped in midair, fighting the strong winds, trying to figure out what to do. She didn't know what her next step should be. The rain was slowly letting up.**  
**

**You've got to get yourself together  
You've got stuck in a moment  
And now you can't get out of it  
Don't say that later will be better  
Now you're stuck in a moment  
And you can't get out of it **

She thought of the Flock. They'd helped her so much on this journey; they had always kept her going. They made her life worth it. She had to go back and continue trying to save the world; they had come all this way with her. She couldn't abandon them now. They'd made her come this far by keeping her hopes up; she had to push them- and herself- the rest of the way. She quickly turned back, fighting her way through the stormy winds.

**I will not forsake  
The colors that you bring  
The nights you filled with fireworks  
They just left you with nothing  
I am still enchanted  
By the light you brought to me  
I listen through your ears  
Through your eyes I can see  
**

_What if you fail? What happens then? Will the world come to an end?_ She asked herself. She continued to fly, her wings straining to go at the same pace the entire time: turbo-speed. She'd never been afraid before, was this fear or nerves? She couldn't believe what an idiot she was!**  
**

**You are such a fool  
to worry like you do Ooh  
I know it's tough  
and you can never get enough  
of what you don't really need now  
my, oh my  
**

"_You're not thinking straight, Maximum,"_ the Voice told her. _"You don't need them; you can still save the world without them! They're just hassles."_

"Yeah right Voice!" she said out loud as a slight pain coursed through her body. "I _do_ need them; they need me. We're there for each other, through thick and thin!" Max knew better, she needed the Flock in order to live, to survive. Without them, she had no purpose… They were the reason she felt she had to save the world, to live.

Max hated all people- except maybe for Ella and her mom, Doctor Martinez- so why would she save them? She was so confused now. She couldn't make the decisions that she was facing; she was stuck.**  
**

**You've got to get yourself together  
you've got stuck in a moment  
and you can't get out of it  
Oh love, look at you now  
You've got yourself stuck in a moment  
And you can't get out of it  
**

Failure was one thing Max couldn't stand. She also couldn't stand being hopeful of anything. You build yourself up with all these false hopes, and when you fail or your plans go awry, you're left crushed. The higher you build them up, the more you have to fall and the greater the hurt.

**I was unconscious, half asleep  
the water is warm 'til you discover how deep  
I wasn't jumping, for me it was a fall  
it's a long way down to nothing at all **

She was almost there now, she could tell. The Flock seemed to call her in, beckon to her. How had she ignored them while running away? They were practically pulling her to the campsite they'd made in the trees. She quickly wiped away the last of her tears and made it look like she hadn't been running away.

**You've got to get yourself together  
you've got stuck in a moment  
and you can't get out of it  
don't say that later will be better  
Now you're stuck in a moment  
and you can't get out of it  
**

Max wouldn't let them see her down. Then this whole thing would be worthless. She had to put up her tough front, not let them see her weaknesses. Weaknesses were your end. There was no way they'd ever see Max at a low point. No one would see her at a low, then she'd be all done with; Maximum Ride would be no more.

**And if the night runs over  
and if the day won't last  
and if your way should falter  
along this stony pass  
**

She landed and was greeted by tearful hugs from Angel, Nudge, and Gazzy. She even gave Fang and Iggy quick, stiff, uncomfortable hugs. She was happy. _This_ is why she was doing this: for the Flock. She loved them so much.

"C'mon guys," she said spreading her wings as the warm sun came out, "we've got a world to save." And they climbed into the bright, clear sky.

**It's just a moment  
this time will pass**


	2. Sometimes You Can't Make it on Your Own

(A/N: This was an idea I had last night right before I went to sleep... It was kinda crazy, but I decided, what the hell... I don't know how, but this song was stuck in my head all day... Of course, I was reading Maximum Ride yet again! So yeah, read and review please...)

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride, the ingenious James Patterson does... And last time I checked, I was not Mr. Patterson... Although I wish I was sometimes because then I'd be a genius. The song is by U2 and is called "Sometimes You Can't Make it on Your Own." I wish I owned the song too... But I own nothing...**

I never felt alone with the Flock before… And suddenly we were flying one day, and it hit me. I was all alone. In a crowded room I felt alone. I needed to feel like I belonged. I always thought as long as I had my family and a clear blue sky, that I'd be all set… I never realized how wrong I was.

**Tough, you think you've got the stuff  
you're telling me and anyone  
you're hard enough**

The Flock, well, they had me. And, of course, I had them. But they had me for support. I can't do this all by myself; everyone needs to let someone take care of them.

**You don't have to put up a fight  
you don't have to always be right  
let me take some of the punches  
for you tonight  
**

People need other people to talk to, not just talk, but _talk_. No matter how much I tell the others I can take care of myself- I need to have someone sometimes. Like, and this is a _crazy_ thought, that someone could be Fang… Yeah, I know; crazy. How could Mr. Stiff and Show No Emotion ever like me that way? Sure, there was that one time on the beach with _The Kiss_. But that had been a stupid spur of the moment thing, a onetime thing.

**Listen to me now  
I need to let you know  
you don't have to go it alone  
**

And, you'll think I'm truly crazy now- not that you probably aren't thinking that already- but now that thought won't leave me alone. You know; the weird, out-of-character one about me and Fang being a possibility.

God, if I ever told him that he'd send me to the loony bin in a second, no hesitation at all… This is crazy. And, to tell you the truth, I don't mind it really… The thinking of him and me and us all the time part is what I really like.

For once there's something I can hope for that might be a little realistic. It's totally unlike thinking of how to save the world. But that empty feeling won't go away no matter how hard I try. I have tried convincing myself I don't need anyone, but I like the thought of having someone so much better. I just want it to go away and I don't care how it does now.

**And it's you when I look in the mirror  
and it's you when I don't pick up the phone  
sometimes you can't make it on your own**

It'd make sense, the two of us. I mean, sure we don't talk very much, and when we do, we sometimes fight. But everyone fights. We're alike in so many ways and so different at the same time. The School made us this way, and I keep having this weird idea. What if they planned this? What if the white-coats wanted me to feel empty and for everyone to hate me? What if- oh God, this is an insane thought- what if they wanted for me and Fang to have each other?

Sure, the Flock- Angel, Nudge, and Gazzy mostly- say they love me; but do they really? It's so hard; we argue and disagree, so they can't love me. If they did love me, wouldn't we get alone peachy? Well, there'd always be arguments, but we still got alone and loved each other, right?

**We fight all the time  
You and I…that's alright  
We're the same soul  
I don't need…I don't need to hear you say  
That if we weren't so alike  
You'd like me a whole lot more**

I had a startling message from the Voice before. Yes, it was a lovely surprise; one that almost knocked me right out of the sky. Luckily Fang caught me… again.

_Max, you aren't alone; you have the Flock. Remember about saving the world? You don't need to be alone when you do it. They will be right by your side,_ it repeated when we were safely on the ground. The resulting pain the Voice caused was noticeably worse than it had been lately. _No one can get by on their own Maximum; not even you can._

"Yeah Voice," I said in a hushed Voice. Luckily the others weren't paying attention to me at the moment. "But I already have the Flock. I'm not alone."

_You know what I mean Max. Stop acting like a child and listen to me seriously for once. Everyone needs someone at one point in their life; even you, even Fang, even Iggy, even the Gasman, even Nudge, even Angel. You'll all need someone one day. T's just how it works out, how everything is._

"Well," I said through clenched teeth, "it's not like we're normal! We can't go up to someone and say 'Hey, I'm lonely, wanna date me? By the way, I'm a mutant freak with wings.' We're freaks!"

_Everyone in the world has someone; you just have to search for that person sometimes. Not everything can be laid out right in front of you all the time. If you want it bad enough, you have to work for it._

**Listen to me now  
I need to let you know  
you don't have to go it alone**

"Voice," I said quietly, my voice shook. "Do I already know this person?" There was silence. I suddenly remembered why I hated the Voice so much. "Is it someone I'm always thinking about?"

_Maybe_, the Voice responded. Instantly, I was furious. I picked up a rock and threw it wildly into the woods. It hit someone, and that someone definitely wasn't happy about it.

"I just want a clear answer for once," I cried softly. Fang appeared rubbing his head and holding a rock. _Oops,_ I thought.

"Did you throw this?" he asked calmly. I nodded. He disappeared again after throwing the rock back to me.

**And it's you when I look in the mirror  
and it's you when I don't pick up the phone  
sometimes you can't make it on your own**

See, that's why I can't ever be with Fang. We're too different in some ways. If he'd thrown the rock and it had hit me, I'd have blown up- literally. He's calm and quiet, and I react quickly to things, always nervous. We can't even talk because we're always on different pages of different books entirely. It makes me angry with myself that I even thought for a second we'd be okay together. If we can't even talk together or get along for more than two minutes, well then how can we be happy with each other? This is just so complicated! As if I didn't have any problems already.

**I know that we don't talk  
I'm sick of it all  
Can - you - hear - me - when - I -  
Sing, you're the reason I sing  
You're the reason why the opera is in me…**

Another night of feeling alone, of that empty feeling in the pit of my stomach; I want out from it. I don't want to feel so lost and alone anymore. I want to talk to Fang really bad, to let him know what I'm thinking, how I feel. But how can I do that? I'm a chicken… and I have to save the world.

**Where are we now?  
I've still got to let you know  
A house still doesn't make a home  
don't leave me here alone…**

More flying, more thinking, more wondering awaited me as the sun rose the next day. I know that I'm crazy now. I mean, I'm sitting here saying I have to save the whole world from ITEX; what's more insane than that! I've gotta push all these feelings away now though, for the good of everyone. I've gotta do this myself, not literally, but… yeah, by myself.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't so alone… That I didn't have to pretend I was okay.

One glance at my Flock and I know I'll be able to tough it out for a while. But the question is; how long can I do this myself?

**And it's you when I look in the mirror  
And it's you that makes it hard to let go  
Sometimes you can't make it on your own  
Sometimes you can't make it  
The best you can do is to fake it  
Sometimes you can't make it on your own**


	3. Kite

(A/N: Well, by popular demand of my friends and the few reviews- I love all my reviewers so much! To FinRox: It's so weird having your little sister review!- I've continued this. I had the one-shot songfic, then the two-shot... Now I'm not sure how far this thing will go. It really has a plot I think, in a vague sort of way... I like sticking with U2 songs because I **love** the band so much... As if you couldn't tell. But I'm not totally sure which songs I should do always... Whatever, they have a few hundred songs I can pick from! Tell me how long this should be in a review please...)

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride, isn't that obvious though? And I don't own the song "Kite." I do however own this piece of bubble gum I'm chewing right now... Other than that, I don't own very much!**

Did you ever feel like… something isn't right? It's this feeling like you can't help what is gonna happen when you know something is wrong. You hope that things will change, and yet… hope that things will just go so you can see what will happen. You want to see what the effects everything will have on your life.

**Something is about to give  
I can feel it coming  
I think I know what it means  
I'm not afraid to die  
I'm not afraid to live  
and when I'm flat on my back  
I hope to feel like I did  
**

I've felt this sort of apprehension for… well, forever I think. But now it's become more menacing. I want to tell the others, but I'm afraid of how they'll react. And there's one more thought: what if telling them quickens how fast whatever is coming occurs? What if not telling them accelerates it? What if we wait for this bad thing forever and it never comes? What if it isn't bad?

I need to know how to stop this because I just know that whenever this thing starts, we're in trouble.

And you know those sudden decisions I make; the ones that are memorable for being incredibly bone-headed or ingenious? I just made one… And that's to talk to Fang about two things. First, I'll go for this fear thing, the apprehension. And while doing that, I'll work up the courage I need for the second: tell him that I _like_ him a lot.

**'cause hardness, it sets in  
you need some protection  
the thinner the skin**

You know what he said? Well, I'll tell you I guess. He said I- being Maximum, the ultimate- don't really need anyone. That the white-coats made me to get by on my own… I didn't get a chance to say that I liked him… I said I felt empty and needed someone. He didn't get it obviously. He's so smart, yet so dumb! But maybe he did get what I was saying… Maybe he doesn't like me that way…

Yeah, this is just great… This is just _perfect_. _Then why Fang do I feel so empty? Where's the logic to that one?_ I thought to myself. _Why do I feel like I need you?_ Didn't he ever feel like he needed someone? Probably not; he was Fang the Loner. He needed no one ever. Well, I needed someone; I wasn't like him. We were opposites.

**I want you to know  
that you don't need me anymore  
I want you to know  
you don't need anyone, or anything at all**

I don't know what to do anymore. It's like I've hit this roadblock or something and there's nothing I can do to avoid it.

That's my paranoia at work for you. That's what Fang told me about my little apprehension that something was happening. Well, more or less that's what he said. He didn't really say it in so many words.

I just don't know how to choose anymore. I mean, recently all my choices have had results that suck. I think I'll just go with it from now on. You know, not look ahead anymore; do things for today.

**Who's to say where the wind will take you  
Who's to say what it is will break you  
I don't know, which way the wind will blow  
Who's to know when the time has come around  
Don't want to see you cry  
I know that this is not goodbye**

I don't know what is gonna happen to the Flock now. I mean… If I sit here and make snap decisions, not caring about the future but about what the immediate consequence will be; what's the effect going to be? Will the Flock suffer? Obviously thinking things out like I've been doing isn't helping, so…

This is so hard and confusing. I'm not sure what to do anymore. I need the Flock, but do they need me? What would happen if I went away? Would they get by? Would they even miss me? That was my most recent thought. It was to run away from them again… but this time it'd be for good.

**In summer I can taste the salt in the sea  
There's a kite blowing out of control on a breeze  
I wonder what's gonna happen to you  
You wonder what has happened to me**

I can almost picture it. I can see me being all alone in the world because I don't need anyone. No one would care about me, and I would care about no one. I could go back to the School if I really had to. Yeah, I do realize how crazy that sounds, but I don't know. Right now my most logical thoughts are complete nonsense, so if I just let the nonsense guide me… Does that make any sense?

Then I can see the Flock. On one hand they're happy and sitting on a beach. Angel is swimming with the fish, talking to them. Gazzy and Iggy are building this _humungous_ sandcastle and talking about blowing stuff up with some homemade bombs. Nudge is talking her head off to no one in particular as she floats in the cool, clear water; then she starts to sing and splash with Angel. And then Fang is just sitting there… alone and perfectly content.

On the other hand they've broken apart after I left. _If Max can go on her own, then so can we_, would be their logic. And I can see them struggling to get by… almost dying… Erasers chasing them… white-coats poisoning them, dissecting them-

I cut myself off.

**I'm a man; I'm not a child  
a man who sees  
the shadow behind your eyes**

I've figured it out I think, I hope. With another snap decision, I'll stay with them. That way none of us are alone. And we'll save the world eventually. But first I've got this crazy idea to take care of. I'm going to actually tell Fang I like him this time. I won't hint at it, I won't chicken out. This time I _will_ tell him. And that's final. It's yet another one of those crazy decisions that are idiotic or brilliant. And not knowing what is gonna happen is just killing me on the inside.

**Who's to say where the wind will take you  
Who's to say what it is will break you  
I don't know, where the wind will blow  
Who's to know when the time has come around  
I don't want to see you cry  
I know that this is not goodbye**

_I did it!_ I wasn't a chicken. I walked up to Fang, sat next to him on this scrawny tree branch and said that I _really, really, really _liked him. And he smiled. And I was happy inside. I'd told him I liked him finally, and he had smiled. I took that as a good sign, the silence though was kind of awkward.

"Max," he said quietly after what seemed like decades of silence, "I've loved you since… well, forever." My jaw must have dropped. "You'll think that I'm crazy, but I was always afraid to tell you I guess. I was afraid of what you'd say… how you'd react… of rejection." For the first time ever, I think Fang really rambled. I would've let him go on and on, but I had a better idea. I kissed him instead. Yeah, that's no type-o or anything; I actually kissed Fang… on the lips… and he kissed me back… It was better than anything I'd ever experienced.

_And to think I actually thought of leaving _this_ behind! What was the thinking behind _that_ idea?_

**Did I waste it?  
Not so much I couldn't taste it  
Life should be fragrant  
Roof top to the basement  
The last of the rocks stars  
When hip-hop drove the big cars  
In the time when new media  
Was the big idea  
What was the big idea**


	4. Out of Control

(A/N: Sorry this is a little late... My laptop is acting weird; I hope it isn't because of a virus! And I had to work- I'm a busgirl- and this guy totally made me... Grr...! He was made at me because we didn't have a table, we only had booths. Well yeah... I had to work for over 6 hours today... But yeah... Life is crazy right now... I'll try updating everyday like I have been, but sometimes I won't be able to... Weekends I'm usually at my dad's and he doesn't have internet... :p I know, that _sucks!_ And I work now... School and sports are starting up... High school is crazy and I'm taking honors classes, do cross-sountry, join tons of clubs; you know, do stuff that mkaes it hard for m to review... I won't let you guys down though! I'll update this thing as often as possible... So, I'll stop rambling...)

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride, although I really wish I did... I don't own the song here either... This one is "Out of Control by- you guessed it- U2... I don't own that either... I do own concert tickets from a U2 show I saw in Boston last year! Yippee for me...)**

Waking up to see the same scenery day after day after boring day gets… well boring. We'd been hanging out in this abandoned barn for two weeks. The whole Flock found the place exciting at first. I mean, we actually thought it was cool. We had our own rooms, made beds, had a "kitchen," a "living room," and a table to eat on. We had food. We had a home for two weeks, two glorious, undisturbed, un-Eraser filled weeks. Can you say fun? I say nerve-wracking. I could only think of one thing: how long will we be safe here?

So one day I decided we'd pack up and leave. I wanted to see the coast again. I found I really liked the beach. Maybe after we save the world we could buy an island and live there in seclusion. I'd be content with that. We'd be like Hollywood movie stars or royalty, you know, owning an island.

**Monday morning  
Eighteen years of dawning  
I say "how long?"  
You say "how long?"  
It was one dull morning  
Woke the world with falling  
I was so sad, so sad  
they were so glad, so glad**

I told the Flock I wanted to own an island. They gave me looks that made me feel like I had a trillion heads or something. Then Fang agreed that'd be cool; the rest of the Flock suddenly agreed. I flew over and kissed him, getting an "aw" Nudge and Angel. The Gasman just looked revolted, and Iggy said he was disgusted by kissing noises.

**I was of a feeling it was out of control  
I had the opinion it was out of control**

Then we were totally shocked, I mean _all of us_ were completely shocked.

"Are you guys gonna have kids?" Nudge asked. My mouth dropped, I heard Fang stifle a giggle. "I wanna be Auntie Nudge!"

"I wanna be Auntie Angel!"

"I hope it's a girl," Gazzy said, "then I can be Uncle Gazzy."

"You'll be Uncle Gazzy if it's a boy you idiot," Iggy told him. "Unless you're confessing you're a girl. Then you'd be Aunt Gazzy." Gazzy nodded his head in understanding, and then realized what Iggy said and tackled him in mid-air.

"I'm not pregnant!" I said. "Which beach we going to?" I asked, quickly changing the subject. My cheeks felt _so_ hot right then. Fang just looked calm, like that whole conversation hadn't happened.

**Boys and Girls  
Go to the school and girls  
they make children  
Not like this one**

Then I had another brilliant idea, spur of the moment. My imagination was really working on overdrive today.

"You guys wanna go down to the Caribbean?" I asked suddenly. I got more looks of shock and confusion.

"Why?" Gazzy asked. I shrugged. "Are they still filming Pirates of the Caribbean!" he asked excitedly. I shrugged again. The other day we sat in a tree at the drive-ins and watched both of the Pirates movies. Since then, the whole Flock was hooked.

"I wanna see Johnny Depp," Nudge announced. "He is so hot!"

"Orlando Bloom could kick his butt," Angle said.

"No way," Nudge countered. A small fight of "yes ways" and "no ways" ensued.

"I want to meet hat scraggily dog and give him a few pointers on how to be a dog," Total said.

"The Caribbean is too crowded," Fang said quietly. We all heard him and the discussion was dropped. Crowds weren't a good thing. New York was a horrible experience for us all.

**I was of a feeling it was out of control  
I had the opinion it was out of control**

"What about Mexico?" Iggy asked.

"Yeah," the Gasman chimed in, "Mexico would be awesome! It's like hot there all the time!"

"Ig, why would you want to go to Mexico? It's not _that_ exciting." Fang asked. Ig's brilliant answer correlated to hot girls he can't see, the sun; it wasn't cold, gambling, and drinking. I explained we're too young to do either of the last two things on his short list. He said it didn't matter down there. Angel ended the discussion when she said she didn't want to go to Mexico; and Iggy as crazy for wanting to go there. Nudge also rambled her reasons why not to go to Mexico.

"Why can't we just go to the beach? I only suggested the Caribbean as a spur of the moment thing anyway." I stated quickly, bringing an end to our discussion. It was silent for the rest of our quick journey.

**I was of a feeling it was out of control  
I had the opinion it was out of control**

Are we crazy bird-kids? You bet we are, and we know it. Did we find flying from Florida to York, Maine in one day crazy? Only a little; we did stop though. We cruised up the coast for a few hours; stopping at Myrtle Beach in one of the Carolinas, Washington D.C. for a quick, refreshing trip, and in cape Cod, Massachusetts. We had a blast. We also stopped once in Boston and caught a Red Sox game from the cheap seats. You wanna see a crazy time? Go to a Sox game when they play the Yankees in the final game in the playoffs. Gasman actually caught a foul ball hit by Ortiz, which to a bunch of people would be a big deal. To us though, it was up there with escaping the School and saving the world.

**Out of control...out of control...out of control...out of control...out of control...**

When we reached York, it was dark and we were all tired. The water was freezing; we realized then it was only June and the place was still "asleep."

We also found out that Erasers really love the beach as well. We fought a quick fight with maybe twelve of them; all winged-hybrids. There wasn't much blood on our side, but they all ran of nursing some mighty wounds.

**I fought fate  
There's blood on the garden gate  
the man says childhood  
It's in his childhood**

One of the erasers was left dead in the surf. He didn't have any tell-tale signs of being in the fight. Fang flicked back the tag on his shirt and read the date it was made. This particular model lasted for four months and thirteen days; not very long.

Remember those brain attacks? I didn't have one or anything, but I thought about them at that moment. I remembered it felt like I was dying every time I had one, and they were always getting worse. When would we die? If these guys didn't live very long, well then how long will we live?

**One day I'll die  
the choice will not be mine  
Will it be too late  
you can't fight fate**

Here's my plan for the next few days: soak up some sun, kick Eraser butt if we must, soak up more sun, eat until I'm sick, more sun, and swim all day. Yeah, that's basically all I plan on doing. I'm crazy, that I do know; what can you expect from mutant birds?

_Max,_ the Voice piped up as I was falling asleep, _you're getting off track. You're got to save the world. Don't forget about that, it's your destiny!_

_Well Voice, _I thought wryly, _if the world needs saving so badly, why don't you do it?_ I was left in silence.

**I was of a feeling it was out of control**

**I had the opinion it was out of control**

I woke in the middle of the night to a horrible brain attack. I couldn't feel my body, just the splitting of my head. Images flashed through my brain in the typical fashion, but they were jumbled. They didn't go together and there was no clear message to it. I sat up when it was over and saw Fang looking at me with concern showing on his face. I had tears running down my cheeks and I felt sick from it. He leaned over and hugged me tightly, kissing the top of my head; holding me until I was asleep.

(A/N: Did that seem weird? I don't know, it didn't strike me as aweosme... Tell me what you think... Review!)


	5. The First Time

(A/N: I already updated today, but in case I don't get to it tomorrow, I'll put it this chapter up today... Lucky readers! So I have a quick question: Is this story dragging on? Does it even seem like there is a plot? It's hard to find a song that I can use all the time. I'm trying to stick with U2, so if you have a suggestion, I'll be glad to hear any of them. My sister, one of the reviewers, is crazy, so if he reviews and says the story sucks, ignore her. Although I was totally surprised to see a _nice_ review from her... Thanks for all the reivews guys, I love all my reviews! Another Question: Does this chapter seems too short? Are my chapters too long or too short? Tell me please, even though that ws more than a question... I could probably write all day if I wanted to... Imagine that!)

**Disclaimer: I own James Patterson and U2, so in turn, I own Maximum Ride and "The First Time." Did you belive me? I didn't tihnk so... It was worth a try though...**

Did you notice that when you're in love everything seems different? Yup, I said two things you'd probably find Maximum Ride not normally saying. I said I was in love, and I asked for your opinion. That's a shocker.

But really, did you ever notice? I mean, colors seem brighter and richer; scents smell clearer and so much better; everything has a different meaning.

You probably think I've had a meltdown or something. I mean, so I normally wouldn't be caught dead saying stuff this sappy or fluffy or anything. But, like I said, love changes everything…

**I have a lover  
A lover like no other  
She got soul, soul, soul, sweet soul  
And she teach me how to sing  
Shows me colors when there's none to see  
Gives me hope when I can't believe  
That for the first time  
I feel love**

When you spend your life trusting someone, loving them more than life itself, and then that person stabs you in the back, you give up on love and trusting people. Did you guess who I was talking about? If you said Jeb, you're absolutely right.

I always had the Flock with me, as a family. Now I've got Fang and he's something more…

And I like things this way.

**I have a brother  
When I'm a brother in need  
I spend my whole time running  
He spends his running after me**

I can _talk_ to him now, I have someone to vent to. And he doesn't seem _as_ bottled up as he used to. Yeah, Mr. Uptight is now on a diet; he's a little more open, but only towards me. Around the others he's still the same old stiff Fang they know and love.

I mean, now I don't have so much pressure on me. I don't see how; the others aren't doing anything extra. But I think just having someone like Fang helps a lot.

**When I feel myself going down  
I just call and he comes around  
but for the first time  
I feel love**

Jeb wants me to save the world. He says I was preordained to do it. I say it's a load of… um… poppycock. I could care less if he says I have to do it. I'm gonna do it anyways, for me, for the Flock.

**My father is a rich man  
He wears a rich man's cloak  
Gave me the keys to his kingdom coming  
gave me a cup of gold**

I want to see the world. It's so big, so while I save the world, I'm gonna travel. I mean, by saving the _world_, I won't be in America the whole time, right? I must have to like travel.

**He said I have many mansions  
and there are many rooms to see  
But I left by the back door  
and I threw away the key  
and I threw away the key  
Yeah, I threw away the key  
Yeah, I threw away the key**

I like this new feeling though- love. It's kind of… well, cool I guess. It's new and kind of mysterious; it's an adventure. I'll bet this wasn't preordained, so take _that_ Jeb. There's a first time for everything.

**For the first time  
for the first time  
for the first time**

**I feel loved**


	6. Original of the Species

(A/N: Hey guys... It's not late, but I had to work today, so I'm kinda tired... Got $17 in tips... Yay for me and those wonderful people who tipped today! I was falling asleep and had an idea for this story, and knew the song to use. I was happy... So I jumped up and ran to my laptop... Woke up my dog and little sister and everyone... Oh well... It's all for you reviewers... If you don't review, then don't read my story... Simple as that... Actually, read it and review please... So here's another chapter... Give me a few ideas or whatever... Criticism, if helpful, would be like... welcomed... So give me a few ideas and everything... Please... Here's the chapter now...)

**Disclaimer: Here's Fang to read the disclaimer for me**

**Fang: I'm not reading some stupid disclaimer for you! You're a lazy bum, do it yourself!**

**Me: Pleeeease Fang? I'm writing a nice story with you in it... Look, see... You're in it...**

**Fang: So?**

**Me: I'll kill you off! Don't make me kill you off Fang!**

**Fang: You wouldn't kill me off.**

**Me: What's a disclaimer?**

**Fang: It says you don't own the characters, plot, etc. A _real _author owns it, not some wanna-be.**

**Me: Thanks Fang... I love you and won't ever kill you off...!**

**Fang: How the fuck did you get me to read that! ponders**

One thing I'd forgotten about after my last brain attack was something the Voice had said. At first, I thought it was something I'd thought up, not something it had said to me. But I think it did say something… And I've been thinking long and hard about what it's said.

_Maximum, don't let the world change you. You are, after all, just a kid. That's what you keep reminding me. Have fun._

Last time the Voice told me to have fun; Angel ended up with Celeste, and learned she could _talk_ with her mind.

And right now, we _are_ having some fun. We're at the beach for Pete's sake! I'm having a blast here with the Flock. Even _Fang_ is enjoying it; he laughed today! I was shocked too. I mean, what's more fun than a water fight with squirt guns, boogey boarding, and building sand castles?

**Baby slow down  
the end is not as fun as the start  
please stay a child somewhere in your heart**

What else could we want? Well… Don't answer that one, we want a lot. But we're happy of course; there have been no erasers, no Ari, no Jeb, no ITEX attacks. The world is still intact, I'm pretty damn happy.

We're the only successful thing to come out of the School besides the Erasers; what could make me happier than that! I mean, I'm alive and out of the School. How can life get better?

**I'll give you everything you want  
except the thing that you want  
you are the first one of your kind**

We get to be ourselves here, well, almost. I mean, we're being _kids_. What is better than that? We've found this hidden beach and there has been no one on it besides us. Actually, it's a private beach, but it's not like anyone is stopping us from being here, so too bad for them. We're not vandalizing the place or dealing drugs or other illegal stuff here; we're just having fun and surviving.

I'm happy here, not totally relaxed, but happy all the same. I've always got one eye open, just in case we're attacked or taken hostage or something. You know, just in case Erasers attack us out of the blue, or Jeb decides he hates us and wants us dead. I mean, I'm watching out for the tell-tale signs that the world needs saving, but I'm relying on the voice to tell me when to act.

And I'm following the all-knowing, all-powerful Voice's instructions by having more fun than I thought possible.

**And you feel like no one before  
you steal right under my door  
and I kneel 'cos I want you some more  
I want the lot of what you got  
And I want nothing that you're not**

I'm happy, and I can't stop saying it. We all are. Nudge must have said she was glad we came here at _least_ five zillion times this afternoon alone. Angle couldn't resist telling me with her mind she was happy here. And Fang laughed, you know that's a good thing. When he did laugh I insisted on quizzing him, just to make sure he wasn't a clone because you never know.

**Everywhere you go you shout it  
you don't have to be shy about it**

Oops. Did I say we were completely safe? Well, then I lied. Three kids found out we were at the beach, not that we had wings or are mutant freaks, just that we were hanging out.

But now we have three new friends. Yup, I said we had friends outside of the Flock. Fang even approved we hang out with them; even though all of us are a little wary and edgy around them. You know we are still totally paranoid. My first thought upon seeing them was _Oh crap, not the Erasers look totally human!_

**Some things you shouldn't get too good at  
like smiling, crying and celebrity  
some people got way too much confidence baby**

We let them stay with us the night- actually sleep on the same beach as us- although Fang and I were up all night- just in case. You never know, these kids might be mutants in their own way. You know, like from the School or ITEX, just kind of secretive about it and really good at looking normal. If Iggy _and_ Fang think they are good enough to trust even a little, it's all good. My judgment doesn't could anymore, remember that whole Ella thing? Yeah, my ideas on who to trust are thrown out the window by them now.

When the kids left the next morning, we did too. If they told anyone we were there, we'd be caught. So we flew back south, to warmer weather.

Mid-flight though, I had a slight brain attack. I was able to hold it together just long enough for us to land, and then I totally collapsed. You wanna see weak and pathetic, see me at that moment. I felt bad at other times, but this was torture.

It came on slowly and drawled on all day. The pain was horrible, just there and enough to make me feel like Death.

**I'll give you everything you want  
except the thing that you want  
you are the first one of your kind**

If Angel hadn't said anything, I think I would've flown until I really did collapse- I'm stubborn like that. I just wanted the pain to stop. Fang hung around me all day, only leaving my side to run to town with Gazzy for food.

Did I ever say I loved Fang, because I really do; if I hadn't told him that, I'm sure he wouldn't have hung around like he did today…

**And you feel like no-one before  
you steal right under my door  
I kneel 'cos I want you some more  
I want the lot of what you got  
And I want nothing that you're not**

It's so crazy… I have to save the world from ITEX, and am in love at the same time. And the Voice approves- but that doesn't matter to me. What matters is that I really want to just shout that I love Fang.

You know; some secrets you want to keep to yourself, but others you want to just let the whole world hear about? This is one you want _everyone_ to hear about. I don't know why, it's just like I'm going to explode or something if I don't.

**Everywhere you go you shout it  
you don't have to be shy about it, no  
and you'll never be alone  
come on now show your soul  
you've been keeping your love under control**

I mean, people let others know how they feel all the time. You know they have those shirts with all those ideas and feelings on them? I want one with big, bold letters saying "Maximum Love Fang!" And then I'll have another that says "I'm Saving the World- Get out of My Way!"

**Everywhere you go you shout it  
you don't have to be shy about it**

I'd be like Nudge, although she doesn't need the shirt or the shouting. All she does is talk and everyone hears her. If I asked her to talk quietly, I think she'd get a headache from trying to figure out what I mean by talking quietly. Today was especially bad, I think because my head was pounding, but her voice was so _loud_!

**Everywhere you go you shout it  
Oh my, my**

Once my head felt a little better, I wanted to fly. The Flock voted against me. So we had to camp out for one night. Really, I was disappointed. I hate sitting somewhere when we're supposed to be someplace else. Like when we were trying to rescue Angel- that seemed like a lifetime ago now. I hated knowing we were so close but had to wait that much longer to save her.

We had a pretty big fire and roasted some marshmallows. Then Gazzy and Angel had a fight with all of the burnt marshmallows, and Nudge had to, of course, join in. Eventually, all of us were sticky, and when I kissed Fang, covering his cheek in sticky marshmallow, the littler kids were all grossed out. We went to sleep, a little sticky.

When I finally went to sleep, I rested my head on Fang's shoulder, listening to his steady heartbeat and felt his warm breathe on the back of my neck as I fell to sleep.

**And you feel like no-one before  
you steal right under my door  
I kneel 'cos I want you some more  
I want you some more, I want you some more…**


	7. Bad

(A/N: Hey, here's chapter Seven... Am I the only one thinking this story sucks? Sorry, I didn't say that... Did I ever mention blackmail _sucks_? It's an insider's tihng, but it's the whole reason for this story... People, I'm repeating myself, GIVE ME IDEAS! And please review... Reviews are good. They make me feel all bubbly inside... Maybe I'll just stop writing this thing and end it with this chapter. I'm mean, people have told me that. So if the review counter get up to at least 20, then I'll review again. I feel like I'm writing for nothing... an no one. That's not cool.)

**Disclaimer: Angel is here to read the disclaimer for me.**

**Angel: I can't read...**

**Me: Oh, well then... Iggy, come here.**

**Iggy: Where am I? It's quiet, I like it here... Where am I?**

**Me: Iggy, do the disclaimer for me. Please.**

**Iggy: What's a disclaimer?**

**Me: It says I don't own you guys, that James Patterson does. and that U2 owns the song called "Bad." Oh crap, you caught me.**

**Iggy: Fang warned me about you.**

Did I say we were too comfortable for my liking? We were. I woke up bound and gagged once again. The whole Flock was tied up and we were sitting around the fire. _How did they get us without anyone waking up?_ I didn't get this one bit.

I tried to get myself out of the ropes, but they were tied so tightly that whenever I moved, they cut into my skin and made it bleed.

I caught Angel's sad eyes and motioned to the sky. She looked up and caught it too, a shooting star. Her eyes seemed to dance when she saw it. _Make a wish_, I thought, and by her expression, I knew she had. Fang noticed too. That's when Ari kicked me in the side; his black boot connecting right where my ribcage ended. I fell over in pain, tear actually coming to my eyes, but I didn't let them spill over. If it is possible for someone to lunge while tied up so tight they can't move; Fang did it then. Ari grinned and kicked me again, only this time in the back.

"Your little leader has two options," Ari announced. I saw Erasers standing by; all of them had morphed and were literally drooling at the feast before them. "She either comes with me, or you all can go back to the School." He leaned over and pulled me up to a sitting position, removing my gag. Quickly, I spat in his face. He made a wild cry and hit me again.

"Rot in hell Ari," I hissed.

"To the School it is. We're all going home for a little family reunion then," he said grinning evilly.

**If you twist and turn away  
if you tear yourself in two again  
if I could, yes I would  
if I could, I would  
let it go  
Surrender  
Dislocate**

The ride to the School was so long, even in the stupid helicopter. The whole ride there, I avoid eye contact with everyone, feeling like an imbecile. Right then I wanted to die. I'd rather go with Ari than have the whole Flock set back to the School.

At least if Ari had me, they could try and save me. But this way we were… Now we were all doomed to whatever the School had in mind. I was thinking torture, tests, and a little lesson called "Saving the World 101." Oh, and a big family reunion with Jeb.

**If I could throw this  
Lifeless lifeline to the wind  
Leave this heart of clay  
See you walk, walk away  
into the night  
and through the rain  
into the half-light  
and through the flame**

I finally gave up with the sulking and resorted with trying to get us out of here. That would prove to be a definite challenge; Erasers were practically surrounding the insides of the helicopter. I began scooting over cross the ground, and seeing they didn't lunge at me or anything, I figure it was okay. I ended up next to Fang and buried my face in his shoulder, crying silently.

**If I could through myself  
set your spirit free  
I'd lead your heart away  
see you break, break away  
into the light  
and to the day**

I felt the helicopter start to descend and sat up straight. Ari appeared and smiled evilly. In his hand was a needle; in fact, there were five other Erasers holding needles. I tensed up, needles always freaked us all out; this was definitely not the exception.

"Don't worry birdie freaks, this won't hurt a bit," he said stepping towards us. I could move much, just squirm, but it didn't do anything. As soon as the needle was in my arm muscle, I felt everything go fuzzy. And then it all faded to black.

**To let it go  
And so to fade away  
to let it go  
And so fade away**

I woke up to bright fluorescent lights and that smell; the chemically smell. We were home. Immediately all my nerves tensed up, and I felt sick; what a wake-up call. We were no longer tied up, but had been thrown into dog crates once again. The place was quiet, except for the occasional sniffle from some cages and the scrapping of experiments moving around. Directly across from me was Fang, he'd been awake long before me. To my right was Iggy, across from him was Angel; to my left was a shaky looking Nudge, across from her was Gazzy. All of them were pale and motionless most of the time; it was so quiet in here.

**I'm wide awake  
I'm wide awake  
Wide awake  
I'm not sleeping  
Oh, no, no, no**

Then Jeb came in. I felt my skin crawl when I saw him wearing the white lab coat; his true colors showing. He stopped in front of my cage looking tired and worn, like he'd been having a rough time.

"Hello Maximum," he said softly. I didn't say anything to him, just stared into his red eyes. He looked overworked. "Come with me please." He unlatched the door and helped pull me out. My muscles groaned in protest from not moving in so long. He walked down the hall slowly and I followed like he expected me to. We entered a small, empty room; the same one where he'd told me I'd save the world.

"I'm disappointed in you Max," he said sitting down and rubbing his temples. "I'm _very_ disappointed in you."

"Why now?" I asked lazily. I didn't feel up to listening to all my failures.

**If you should ask then maybe they'd  
Tell you what I would say  
True colors fly in blue and black  
Bruised silken sky and burning flag  
Colors crash, collide in blood shot eyes**

"You're ignoring the rest of the world. We were going to let you do this your way, but now… We may need to guide you a little better." He looked angry.

"No," I said defiantly. "I want to do this myself. If I needed help, I'd ask. The rest of the Flock is my help; we don't need you or your stupid goons. To us, ITEX isn't a big threat."

"I thought I taught you better," Jeb said softly, holding his head in his hands. "Maximum, you can't underestimate your enemies like this. See what I mean? You need better guidance. If I had the power, I'd let you do this on your own; but 'the guys upstairs,' so to speak, won't let me do that."

**If I could, you know I would  
if I could, I would  
let it go…**

"Then let my Flock go and keep me here. I don't care about me. Just let them go; they deserve to be free." For the first time since I'd seen him today, Jeb smiled.

"That is just the response I wanted to hear Max. Well done." He stood and held the door open for me.

**This desperation  
Dislocation  
Separation  
Condemnation  
Revelation  
In temptation  
Isolation  
Desolation  
let it go**

I'm not sure what happened, but suddenly the Flock and I were led to this large door.

"Save the world Max," Jeb said and let us go outside. And we ran… I wasn't sure whether this was some sort of cruel joke or not, so we took off and didn't stop flying until Angel, Nudge, and Gazzy admitted to being drop-dead tired. We landed and quickly set up our camp. I fell asleep quickly; my nerves had tired me out.

I woke up when Fang lovingly kicked me in the shins.

"What the heck is your problem?" I asked rubbing my shin.

"You sleep like a _rock_!" he said almost smiling. "What did Jeb say before?"

"That I wasn't doing my job right! He said that I needed to learn how to save a world properly because I was going about it wrong. It's not like I've saved a world before! How the heck would I know what to do in a situation like this!"

**And so fade away  
to let it go  
and so fade away  
to let it go  
and so to fade away**

The two of us talked about what Jeb had said, and analyzed every single world he said. We had to figure out why they took us back to the School just to say I wasn't saving the world right. In the end, it still didn't make any sense.

We stayed up until dawn talking about saving the world, and even about my Voice, but stopped when Angel woke up. I decided now we'd go save the world. There'd be no more stalling, it was now or never…

I preferred never but I have no say in this whole thing…

**I'm wide awake  
I'm wide awake  
Wide awake  
I'm not sleeping  
Oh, no, no, no**

(A/N: This is actually Angel, not The Original VC, and I've got a message for you... REVIEW! I'm telling you in your mind now to review... That little nagging voice telling you to hit the "Review" button is me. And I won't let you go until you review! So review!)


	8. Where the Streets Have No Name

(A/N: Does "oops" cover my long absense from updating this? Well, oops... We had some kids from Montana over and I had to babysit all five of them (none are over age 8)... School, cross-country, work... NO "ME TIME!" It sucked... Bad excuse, I know, but I'm back, and this is it... This would be the end to my lovely, eight chapter story... Reviews please... They make me smile! And again, sorry about the previous chapter eight that wasn't mine... I killed that friend, but then bought them back from the dead so I wasn' charged with murder! Anyways, the story!)

**Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I don't own this...**

**Angel: She owns nothing!**

**Me: Shh, don't tell them that!**

**Angel (uses mind-controlling powers): You own NOTHING!**

**Me: I guess I own nothing...**

**Angel: And I get the remote!**

**Me: No fair, you cheated!**

* * *

I was running through the woods, sprinting. The branches whipped my bare arms and legs, scratched my face and caught my hair. My wet sneakers made me slip and slide with every step I took. I heard a dog howl and my stomach literally flipped. _Damn them for bringing the dogs out!_

"Find her!" someone yelled loudly. _How about you don't find me and say we did?_ I ran faster as my breathing became erratic. I had a cramp in my side; it made it even harder to breath. I slipped and once my hands hit the ground, I pushed myself up and ran. I was bleeding, muddy, tired, sweating and alone… Then I realized it was too late as I dog appeared in the path in front of me.

Only it wasn't _just a dog_. It was an Eraser. I backpedaled but it was too late. It raised its gun, a red dot appeared on my shirt, and it pulled the trigger…

**I want to run  
I want to hide  
I want to tear down the walls  
that hold me inside  
I want to reach out  
and touch the flame  
Where the streets have no name**

I woke up screaming. I was sitting up straight as opposed to lying down on the dirt. I was breathing heavily and my skin was covered in a thin, cold sheen of sweat. The dream flooded back and I searched for bullet holes on my clothes. There were none.

"You okay Max?" Angel asked nervously. I realized I'd woken everyone up. Total walked up to me and nudged my leg with his nose.

"I'm fine… I just… had a bad dream. Sorry, go back to sleep." In the dark I could feel Fang's stare on me. My heart was finally beating normally and my breathing was almost there. Everyone settled down and their breathing slowed… except for Fang.

"You're sure it was just a dream?" he asked sitting next to me. I nodded surely. "Well what happened in it?"

"The usually… I died." I tried to smile, but Fang looked at me seriously. Of course, that wasn't anything new. "The Erasers were chasing me… with dogs. And one of the Erasers caught me."

"Which we all know would never happen."

"Right, because I'm just amazing like that. But it seemed so real. Not your usual 'dream being real' thing. I mean, when I stepped on a rock, I felt pain. Every branch that I ran into made me bleed, and that hurt a little. And then when it shot me… I felt it." I leaned my head on Fang's shoulder and felt tears come to my eyes.

"Don't worry about it Max. It was only a dream," Fang said in that 'I'm an understanding person in a non-understanding' way of his.

"Yeah, I realize that now, a little late though." The sun was slowly rising over the mountains. "And I know that they won't hurt us anymore… that they can't. But it's the fact we grew up in fear, always waiting for them to strike and kill us. I think it will take a while to grow used to not having them around anymore."

**I want to feel sunlight on my face  
I see the dust cloud disappear  
without a trace  
I want to take shelter from the poison rain  
where the streets have no name**

Yeah, I said it, it's _finally_ true. They aren't around anymore. And we all know what _they_ I'm talking about… It's all of _them_: ITEX, the white coats, the Erasers, all of them are gone. For the first time ever, we are safe. And people _still_ don't know about us. We don't exist in any minds except for a few: Ella's, Dr. Martinez's, the few who actually _saw_ us that time in that New York restaurant, and the ones from the hospital who helped us out when Fang was hurt.

It still makes my skin crawl me out when I think that. _We are safe._

_No Max, there will always be someone out there trying to hurt you,_ the Voice chimed in.

I'd been hoping that the Voice would disappear along with _them_, but- luckily for me- it stayed. It still bought pain and confusion, but not as often anymore.

_Yeah Voice, trust me, you've told me that enough. I get it; we aren't actually safe,_ I thought. _But for now, let us just _think_ we're safe. We can't ever be normal, so this is the best thing ever to happen to us._ And then it was peacefully silent.

But I knew at least _two_ had made it through the final battle: Jeb and Ari. We hadn't seen them alive, but we hadn't seen them dead either. In fact, they hadn't shown their ugly faces in about four months. We did see one old friend alive: my clone.

I ignored her as best I could; out of sight, out of mind, or so I hoped that the saying was true. And I haven't seen her since that time, out of the corner of my eye, when I saw that flash of blonde hair running by us during a battle. I really hoped we never saw her again.

**Where the streets have no name  
Where the streets have no name  
We're still building  
Then burning down love  
Burning down love  
And when I go there  
I go there with you  
It's all I can do**

After the final battle, we'd all been pretty… beat up would be such an understatement. But, thankfully, all of us had lived. And we didn't need a hospital or anything. We're hardcore, we healed eventually.

There were, and always will be, scars. But they're like memories in the way you need to have some. It's like the damn Voice that I can't seem to shake- or cut out for that matter.

But we've settled down I guess, for a while anyway, in a mountain range. We found an old, rundown hunting lodge that looked as if it hadn't been used in about a hundred years. It took fixing up and all, but it's become sort of like we've lived there our whole lives.

And we can go strawberry picking without worrying about Eraser attacks now.

**The city's aflood  
And our love turns to rust  
We're beaten and blown by the wind  
Trampled in dust  
I'll show you a place  
High on a desert plain  
Where the streets have no name**

And there's Fang and me… in love… totally. I don't think I'd know what to do without him being there. And I'm not just saying that to be all gushy and lovey-dovey. I seriously mean it. It's like, the Flock is part of me and everything, but he's what holds me together.

There were _so_ many times I thought of quitting, just giving up.

I'm so glad he convinced me otherwise, because it's amazing how great it feels to be free. Sure, I'll probably have nightmares for the rest of my life- however long that may be- but it's definitely worth it. I'd have nightmares constantly for as long as I live as long as those… freaks never touch me or my Flock again.

**Where the streets have no name  
Where the streets have no name  
We're still building  
Then burning down love  
Burning down love  
And when I go there  
I go there with you  
It's all I can do  
Our love turns to rust  
We're beaten and blown by the wind  
Blown by the wind  
Oh, and I see love  
See our love turn to rust  
We're beaten and blown by the wind  
Blown by the wind  
Oh, when I go there  
I go there with you  
It's all I can do**

We're free


End file.
